I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
