Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
