she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
