She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
It's just like the Real World with babies
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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