Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we made out on top of his cat.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
