idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize