I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
