My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
