you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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