And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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