drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
