It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
