ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
my poor anus
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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