I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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