curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
