hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
