just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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