once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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