Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she told me i tasted like america
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
