singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
