so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
