I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Randomize
