So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
