I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
