Capitaan dildo arrescate!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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