at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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