Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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