I'm drive I can fine osifer
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
