I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is it because I queefed?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
