Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
