she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
