What a fucking waste of an outfit
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
