Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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