Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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