Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
