I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's never too late to be topless.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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