New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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