Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize