I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
