he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
