he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
