He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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