So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
