Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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