I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
2020 sucks, I want a refund
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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