Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
