I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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