I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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