I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
