Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
