awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
