I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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