Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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