soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
