having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
