i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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