distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
