This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
