i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
