I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
