I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
