this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
