So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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