Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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