normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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