I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
