her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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