And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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