So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
