Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
