PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
