Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
