just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
