Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize