he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
