woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
